


Discoveries

by ILUCIDA



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eremika - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILUCIDA/pseuds/ILUCIDA
Summary: There was something sacred about two lovers discovering love in each other.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Discoveries

He kisses her extracting a sharp note as he walks through the door. Her stomach churns, her breathing ragged and he keeps his hands on her as if he knows she would give everything if he just asked.

Everything is hot and stuffy and stays that way even when she replay those memories hours later packing up the pantry supplies.

The sacks of rice were still piled outside as well as wheat and corn.

If she were to be honest, all she'd done was change the containers on the shelf because her mind insisted on wandering. And it went straight to the rigidity of Eren's lips over hers, or the sight of his hands on her legs.

She rebuked his thoughts and resumed the work they had begun a quarter hour ago of breaking up the wheat, but as if she inattention called her, she heard him knock on the door.

"Mikasa" he called her opening the door "can we talk?"

She instantly returned a jar of lentil to the shelf and topped the wheat forging a focus she didn't have.

"Eren, I'm busy. Hange asked me to take care of the pantry," she walked past him quickly to pick up the bags she would leave at the door.

"Forget it," he interceded. "You worked harder than anyone today. Enough," he argued. Only because Mikasa was strong did she end up with the biggest and heaviest services. She was a woman not a ox.

"You who didn't want Jean to help me," she retorted, reminding him that he was the one who said his colleague should help him out in the stables instead of being sent off with her.

Eren's ears flushed "That's because I thought you would finish in two times, let that horse face did it now."

He pulled her by the hand in a resolute gesture and she accompanied him defeated.

The late afternoon breeze blew through her hair and she kicked off her shoes allowing her feet to touch white sand from the harbor. The railroad expansion work was almost complete and she could see the harbor lighthouse from afar.

Eren sat beside her watching the endless coming and going of the sea as he always did.

There was something about the way he looked at the ocean, something that always made him move away from her. As if those waves engulfed him as a superior force that distanced him from everyone.

Then he felt his eyes on her and held the air with apprehension.   
"About earlier ..."

Her face warmed "We don't need ..."

"We have," he insisted and her shoulders sagged.

Eren wouldn't insist if there was another option.

And it was right. If they wanted to be in a relationship, they needed to communicate. Both needed to be honest about everything.

There should be no forbidden topics, even the most disconcerting.

"I didn't want to stop like this. It's just that…. in a moment everything seemed so ..."

She loved Eren, his touches, kisses and caresses. But in a moment the prospect of things to come wrapped up his nerves.

"Don't talk like you have to go on. I wasn't thinking about that when ..." Eren stopped putting his hand on the back of his neck and looking away to the sea.

Yes, it was true that he wasn't thinking about sex when Mikasa's body was glued to his in the weapons room. But that's just because he wasn't thinking in anything at the moment. Just kissing her more, enjoying her body, her warmth. That until Mikasa interrupted him flushing and tripping over the words saying that they had to go back.

"I didn't wish crossed the line," he apologized.

Of course the insidious idea of making love with her came to him every night. She was the one who probed her most shameful dreams since he was a teenager.

He was nineteen and his body asked to know hers every time they were close to each other.

Yes, he definitely wanted to go beyond the line.

But not at any price.

He was nineteen and all that fervor in his veins, but he wasn't desperate.

Nor could he allow her to think that all he wanted was to take her to bed.

"You didn't pass," she went on to explain, "I don't know what gave me, I just ... got nervous."

"So ... aren't you mad?" he asked trying to understand why she had avoided him all day.

"No, of course not ... I was actually afraid you were thinking badly of me."

A crease opened in Eren's forehead.

"Thinking badly about you? Why?"

"I don't know," she nibbled on her hesitant lip.

So much things had crossed her mind.

She didn't want her behavior to be interpreted as puritan, or worse: hypocritical, since she was perfectly fine with Eren's kisses and caresses until it stopped making sense.

"I figured you'd think I was foolish, or assume I was playing games?"

Eren suppressed a smile.

"Nonsense," he ruled out the question feeling relieved. He had thought she was repudiating him. "I think it's normal."

"Huh?"

"I mean," he looked back at her again trying to articulate, "You never had something like that, did you?"

"What? You already…?" Mikasa was alarmed by the question, not bothering to answer. She hadn't considered that maybe he already had some experience, even if sometimes he touched her as if he had.

"No, of course not," he dismissed the idea feeling inflamed. How had the conversation got there?

"Oh, you asked as if you already had."

"And you didn't answer," he accused.

The knowledge that Mikasa had ignored his question made his chest plummet. No even he ha entertained the idea that she had already been intimately with someone else in formulating the issue, believing it to be a rhetoric to support his point. However, it was a perspective, it would make sense.

He was gone for months. And pulled her away with cruel words. He had no right to feel betrayed, though he felt exactly that way.

Mikasa touched his shoulder, realizing he was being serious.

"No, I thought you knew."

"Oh" he nodded relieved and even more embarrassed "I shouldn't have assumed ..."

"Me neither," she relented.

He agreed, "This just proves my initial point."

"What is..."

"We've never been in a relationship, we're figuring it out yet. Discovering each other."

Mikasa blushed violently but nodded.

Seeing Eren admitting he had insecurities also calmed that drum of nerves roaring in his chest. Everything was new to both of them.

"Come on" Eren suddenly called her and when she looked she could already see his back rushing toward the sea.

Rude.

Eren was always so abrupt. Delicate themes began between them as suddenly as they ended. No preambles or final considerations.

She stood up uncertainly accepting his invitation.

She doesn't like the idea of going into the sea. Yes, the ocean was beautiful, everything that Armin said. But it somehow defied his need for control.

The sea was impetuous, violent. Regardless of his presence, she felt small in front of it.

"Eren, the sea is hung-over," she warned him, but he was already taking off his shirt and throwing himself into the sea, "Watch out."

She approached by putting her feet in the water.

Eren was already gone. She approached cautiously, but there was no sign of him.

"Don't go far. The waves are violent."

"Don't be a fearful" He sprang up beside her, bringing her to him.

"It's prudence," she retorted hitting the water.

Eren responded pulling her off the floor, "Prove it."

"No, let me go," she struggled, refusing to be overwhelmed by the newly acquired height. He could be bigger, but she was still stronger.

"If that's what you want" He pretended to throw her.

She released quickly, being hit hard by a wave.

"Eren!" she scolded and he laughed at her. In a loud, open, spontaneous way that she believed she would never witness again.

She smiled back and crossed her arms around her own body aware that the water was drawing everything.

Eren approached and she stared at him bashful.

"I won't look" he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair, which must have been salty from the splashes of the wave that had caught her.

"I can't return the favor," she ignored, staring at his bare chest.

"It's an irresistible sight, but it shouldn't compare to ..."

“Eren!” She scolded him, hiding her face in his neck.

He wrapped his hand around her face, making her look at him.

"You're beautiful, that's what I mean."

She nodded, surrendering to his embrace and let herself down the sea.

They swam that afternoon. At their own pace. The sun falling on the horizon, the salt water on her skin. Water that soothed, that healed.

She found that the sea could be untamed, but there was some placidity in the constancy of the waves, and she found she liked it.

  
xxx

In the months that followed, the exchanged touches grew fluster. Needy.

One day Eren's fingers brushed her breast unpretentiously. He hesitated, pulling his hand away and a cloud of embarrassment came and dissipated. At the end of the day her thoughts were caught in the expectation of his touch.

The following week she led his hand to access that neglected area until then.

From there the carefully delineated boundaries were easily dissipated.

Gradually and urgently.

At a pace that belonged only to them.

"Don't be ashamed of me," he asked the first time his hands entered her skirts.

Her cheeks were flushed and she hardly thought she could face him after all those moans she had so casually glued to his ear.

"We're discovering each other," he reminded her as he took his lips and she clung to his back as he writhed between his fingers.

Any question as to what he would think of her or how he would see her from then on faded into her mind until be completely lost when she met his eyes again.

There was adoration.

And perhaps more than that, a proud reverence to know that he was the only one had left her like this.

That was it, Eren touched her with adoration.

As if they were part of a sacred ritual, and to some extent it was.

There was something sacred about the meeting of two lovers who discovered love.

So she wanted to introduce him to that feeling he had given her too.

Loving him and making him feel exactly the way she felt, touching him without reservation.

"You don't have to," he admonished and she ignored him.

Eren had an as yet unsurpassed tendency to think that she would only do something to him in return, for some sense of duty.

It was different from what she thought. Bigger, stiff.

She blushed to look and rehearsed the pace until she reduced her boyfriend to hoarse whispers. Even unable to look at him, it was very hard not to hide his sight in his neck, she felt powerful.

Not the way it felt when using DMT on the nights it covered the district. No, it was a different power.

He scolded her for not stopping when he asked, proving that he could seem irritated even at the most unlikely times, and wiped her off by complaining about his stubbornness, his irritation mingling with shame at having soiled her. She suppressed the superior smile that threatened to dance on her face.

They found themselves running into each other's arms gathering pieces from the floor at each meeting. Adjustments in their ministry were made with each other's help until the joining of their bodies became inevitable. A relief for a search that never stopped.

It was a more difficult path in practice than in theory, both of which found it full of expectation and anxiety.

Eren was gentle, covered her with kisses and soft words, helping her with the discomfort.

It took more than one attempt to get the rhythm and skill needed for an experience that was absolutely enjoyable to both of them, but when they did, she found, not too late, that there was a tangible, insatiable fury in Eren that only she could placate, because it was her too.

And every night has become short ever since.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I am fond of the idea of a couple gradually discovering intimacy, because it is very improbable that an inexperienced couple will be able to do everything at first, and that's fine (sex is a lot of work).  
> So I wanted to bring this here.  
> Hope you like it.  
> See you


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